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Funny Casino Quotes

Casino Quotes. Nicky Santoro: You put my fuckin' money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep! Casino quotes funny. Casino quotes funny like clown. Funny Drunk Pictures. More information Kristen Hillier. Lol christmas is coming, christmas xmas, just smile. 37 quotes have been tagged as casino: John Maynard Keynes: 'When the capital Casino Quotes. Quotes It would be silly if they had in fact thought this.”.

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Casino Quotes. Nicky Santoro: You put my fuckin' money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep! Casino quotes funny. NFF Guestbook. Funny Drunk Pictures. More information Kristen Hillier. Lol christmas is coming, christmas xmas, just smile, wise. Funny Poker T-Shirt Fear The River T-Shirt Gifts for Dad Screen Printed T-Shirt Tee Shirt T Shirt Me. The Only Thing I Fear Is The River Card T-Shirt.

Funny Casino Quotes 17. Professional Gambler Screws Everyone In The Bar Video

CASINO(1995) HOW TO DEAL WITH ASSHOLES.

Funny Casino Quotes
Funny Casino Quotes Funny Gambling Quotes AT THE TABLES "When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table." — Dean Martin "If you're playing a poker game and you look around the table and can't tell who the sucker is, it's you." — Paul Newman. Yeah. I just want the bullshit to blow over for a while so I can run the casino. If anything goes wrong with the casino, it's my ass. It's not yours, it's my ass. Nicky Santoro: Listen. I don't know if you know this or not but you only have your f***in' casino because I made that possible. I'm what counts out here/10(). Check out our collection of funny gambling jokes. We are sure they will make you laugh. If you have any gambling jokes as good, upload them at the bottom of this page. 1) I just bet £ at the bookies that they would find Maddie, at odds. That.
Funny Casino Quotes

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Sarcastic Quotes Funny Quotes Funny Memes Jokes Golf Quotes Memes Humor. Drone strikes continue to take their toll in Yemen and elsewhere.

Chris Hedges says most Americans accept the myth of American rightness and do-goodism while ignoring the obvious parallels in the terrorism practiced by the US and the terrorism practiced by ISIS and their ilk.

He says the empire is not only busy abroad but is also quietly pre-positioning suppressive-force capabilities on the home front, in preparation for the inevitable pushback from the masses as their impoverishment worsens.

Don't gamble with your news sources. Get audio clips on what's REALLY going on with Grinning Planet's biweekly downloadable audio news feed.

GP CARTOONS RELATED TO Gambling. GET HOOKED ON GAMBLING. A cute stop-motion animation in which the daffy characters from the Rottentroll world get hooked on casino gambling.

Mainly for kids but a few good lines for adults too. Watch funny gambling animation. Related GP cartoon: Signs You Have Gambling Fever.

STOP GAMBLING. A clever casino ad. We're not sure if it's a put-on or not! Watch funny gambling ad. Related GP cartoon: Most and Least Popular Nicknames Among Gamblers.

Or see more Get GP free via email! FUNNY GAMBLING QUOTES If you're a gambler, quote us on this: The odds are you'll love these funny gambling quotes.

The fucking thing collapsed. Check out some of the best Horse Jokes ever published. During the Great Depression, there was a man who walked into a bar one day.

The guy pulled out a huge wad of notes and set them on the bar. I mean, your odds are fifty-fifty at best, right? So, the guy pulled out his false right eye and bit it.

With that, the guy went to the back room and spent the better part of the night playing cards with some of the locals.

After many hours of drinking and card playing, he stumbled up to the bar. Nicky Santoro: What the fuck is that supposed to mean? And he will be ejected from any casino in Las Vegas Nicky Santoro: [reads letter again] "Because of unsavory reputation Unsavory fuckin' Is there any way around this?

Nicky Santoro: Let's say, for instance, I want to go in a restaurant that happens to be inside a casino, to get one of those sandwiches I like?

Sam Rothstein: Forget it. You cannot so much as set foot in the parking lot. That is how serious this is.

Not being able to go into a casino is just one thing, but being in this book etched your name into the brains of every cop and FBI agent in the state.

I mean, you're listed in there with Al Capone. But Nicky didn't care. Nicky Santoro: I gotta do somethin'. I gotta do somethin'. They ain't gettin' rid of me.

They're not gettin' rid of me. I'm staying here. Fuck 'em. Commissioner Webb: Thanks for seeing a humble public servant, Mr. You run a nice business here.

House is doing very well for itself. Uh, I come here personally to kind of smooth over a fracas about a certain matter. See, uh, maybe you didn't know it, but, uh, Don Ward is a very well-liked man in this town.

He's got lots of friends here. Now, his family and their money go back many, many years. Now, friends vote That's important to me And if you'll think about our little problem along them lines Sam Rothstein: I'm sorry, but he knew about our gettin' hit on three big machines in a row and he did nothing about it.

That means either he was in on it or, forgive me for saying this, he was too dumb to see what was going on. Either way, I cannot have a man like that workin' here.

Commissioner Webb: Before we point the dirty end of the stick at 'ol Don, uh, we better be sure we can prove them charges. Commissioner Webb: Are, uh - [Clears throat] - are we certain that you want the Gamin' Control Board eyeballin' your record and your gangster pals like Nicky Santoro?

Sam Rothstein: I think you're way out of line talkin' to me like that. What you're sayin' is libelous, and you're in no position to challenge my expertise.

I went way out of my way to be very helpful and courteous to that kid. He's weak, he's incompetent. He jeopardizes the whole place. There's not much more I can do for him.

Commissioner Webb: [Chuckles] You have got me there. Old Don is about as useless as tits on a boar! But, he is my brother-in-law, and I would look on it as a personal favor if you'd think some more on hirin' him back.

Sam Rothstein: I can't do that. And I appreciate the fact that he's your brother-in-law, and I do want to help you and I like to do favors, and I know who you are, but I cannot do that.

Commissioner Webb: Well, could there be any position Sam Rothstein: I'm sorry, I can't do anything. He's too incompetent.

And the bottom line is, he cannot be trusted. Phone rings, Ace responds and hangs up a few seconds later Um I'm sorry. Commissioner Webb: Mr Rothstein.

You people never will understand the way it works out here. You're all just our guests. But you act like you're at home.

Let me tell you somethin', partner But that's where we're gonna send you if it harelips the Governor.

Thank you for your time. The cash kept rollin' in. And the suitcases kept comin' and goin'. And let me tell ya, the fuckin' bottom line here is The only problem was that, after a while, the bosses noticed that the suitcases were gettin' a little light.

Vincent Borelli: Aspetta, Wait a minute. You mean to tell me that the money we're robbing is bein' robbed? That somebody's robbing from us?

We go through all this fuckin' trouble, and somebody's robbin' us? John Nance: Like I said, you know, i-it's part of the business.

I-it's considered leakage. You gotta know that a guy who helps you steal, even if you take care of him real well, I mean, he's gonna steal a little bit extra for himself.

Makes sense, don't it? Well, you go try and make these hard-headed old greaseballs understand that. Vincent Borelli: What's the point of skimming if we're being skimmed?

Defeats the whole purpose of what we're doin' out there. John Nance: You know, they take this money because they're my guys.

So you gotta give 'em some leeway. This guy could fuck up a cup of coffee. If they did, they would have been better off making fucking novenas Catholic prayers.

Artie Piscano: Come on, go back there? I never got paid my expenses for the last trip. Artie Piscano: Well, I'm going all over, laying money out of my own pocket, and I never get anything back.

What the hell's goin' on? Vincent Borelli: Artie, no records, Artie. What are you going to do with records? Pay taxes? Artie Piscano: Well, I keep layin' out my own fuckin' dough for these trips and nothin' ever comes back.

I mean, what the hell's goin' on? What are we doin' over here? Vincent Borelli: You're goin' out to Las Vegas, you're havin' a good time at my expense.

What the fuck? I mean, after all, you're the one having a good time, not me. Integrity, had a partner nobody knew about, and when she showed up and started demanding some money from the Tangiers Anna Scott: I believe he was absolutely fair and I'm delighted with his decision.

John Nance: [talks to his boss, Remo Gaggi, on the phone about the situation] We got a problem. It didn't go too well. Green has to open the books; he has to show how he got the financing.

And hey, that's But before she could start counting her money, the boys back home decided to settle the case out of court instead.

So they sent me. Nicky Santoro invades the kitchen in Anna Scott's home and shoots her in the head three times. She dies, blood runs from her mouth as he levels her head so it doesn't run on him.

Sam has made an enemy in County Commissioner Pat Webb for firing his brother-in-law from the Tangiers. An inopportune moment occurs when Sam is made to admit he is responsible for the day-to-day operations of the Tangiers, which is publicized by the media.

Webb is holding up a newspaper headline. Commissioner Webb: Hm. Have you read this? It's 'bout Mr Rothstein.

It says: "The Midwest bookmaker with mob ties says that he is the real boss of the new hundred-million-dollar Tangiers Casino empire. I want people to understand, gambling is not a bad thing if you do it within the framework of what it's meant to be, which is fun and entertaining.

Gambling is an act of faith of gamblers. Prophecy is an act of faith of the saints. Gambling is a disease of barbarians superficially civilized.

All gambling is the telling of a fortune, but of a monstrously depleted fortune, empty of everything save one numerical circumstance, shorn of all such richness as a voyage across the water, a fair man that loves you, a dark woman that means you harm.

Time spent in a casino is time given to death, a foretaste of the hour when one's flesh will be diverted to the purposes of the worm and not of the will.

By gaming we lose both our time and treasure: two things most precious to the life of man. Some psychiatrists claim gambling is masochistic, that gamblers want to lose to punish themselves.

Sure some do. Some People like to jump off the Empire State Building. But millions go up to look at the view. A gambler is someone who plays slot machines.

I prefer to own slot machines. It's the risk I like about owning a casino. Some days you win, other days you win more.

No use gambling if you can't lose your head once in a while. He was so sure he would lose that he had not played everything— as if to prolong the sensation of losing.

They gambled with me for my heart with all kinds of games. They defeated me and took it away. The solemn resolutions, which are nevertheless broken, never to do it again, the stupefying pleasure and the bad conscience which tells the subject he is ruining himself.

To gamble is to risk, to approach 'the ruin factor. Hell, I was ruined anyway. I play in order to lose. That's what gets my juice going.

If I only bet on the games I know, I could at least break even.

Jun 3, - meibanya.com helps you secure expiring domain names. Casino don't lucky dice gambling humor funny life gambling machin Gambling Games, Gambling. Casino Quotes. Nicky Santoro: You put my fuckin' money to sleep. You go get my money or I'll put your fuckin' brain to sleep! 37 quotes have been tagged as casino: John Maynard Keynes: 'When the capital Casino Quotes. Quotes It would be silly if they had in fact thought this.”. Famous poker player, VP Pappy, has a great sense of humor in addition to his great streaks of luck. Here’s one of his funny casino quotes: "Casinos and prostitutes have the same thing in common; they are both trying to screw you out of your money and send you home with a smile on your face.”. - VP Pappy. Discover and share Funny Casino Quotes. Explore our collection of motivational and famous quotes by authors you know and love. “There is a very easy way to return from a casino with a small fortune: go there with a large one.” – Jack Yelton “If there weren’t luck involved, I would win every time.” – Phil Hellmuth “A man’s gotta make at least one bet a day, else he could be walking around lucky and never know it.” – Jimmy Jones. Jul 18, - Explore Kelsey Lanier's board "casino humor", followed by people on Pinterest. See more ideas about humor, funny memes, hilarious. Funny Gambling Quotes GENERAL "Gambling: The sure way of getting nothing for something." — Unknown "I used to be a heavy gambler. But now I just make mental bets. That's how I lost my mind." — Steve Allen "The gambling known as business looks with austere disfavor upon the business known as gambling." — Ambrose Bierce.
Funny Casino Quotes Is that a little fucking girl? Pretty soon, you gotta dig a few more holes. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. We've compiled a list of top 80 inspiring quotes with pictures on this topic. Artie Piscano: What else? Home Quotes by Topic Quotes by Author Resources. I threw that cocksucker out. Related Links: 1. It should have been so sweet, too. Ministry Leadership. If I only bet on the games I know, I could at least break Josh Baazov. Ace Rothstein: Yeah, I did want to go on TV. And let me tell ya, the fuckin' bottom line here is Get GP free via email!

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